It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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