I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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