She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sorry about my life...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How naked do you want me to be?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
