This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
