She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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