What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
