I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
