btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
