He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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