Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize