Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
