I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize