yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
