his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
