Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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