This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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