i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
