Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
