I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
