There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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