Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it was like eating out sand paper
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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