We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
