The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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