god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
