the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he thought i was a dude.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You are a genius and a whore.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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