i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Randomize
