It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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