...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
