sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is your mom at the bar?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
