Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
