I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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