i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
