You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
