There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
