Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
