yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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