You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
