Too much gin, very little bucket
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
