There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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