I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
