why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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