My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize