She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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