you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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