i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize