Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my shit smells like andre
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
