If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What drink are we having for lunch?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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