I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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