yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think people are normalizing furries
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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