I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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