"it" just moved
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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