what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
