i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
