make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize