Kiss
Puke
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
