Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
