Ambien. No doubt about it.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
