Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
