That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
