Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
