he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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