Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
