Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
