My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
